the strong in the gentle...

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength."-- Ralph Sockman.

Hercules the symbol of strength in Greek Mythology was worshiped as the God who freed the mortals from many a monster. He was born of the digression of the God Zeus with a mortal Alcmena. Zeus placed his son Hercules at the breast of his sleeping wife Goddess Hera making him partially mortal. But so strong was Hera’s hatred towards Hercules that she induced a hypnotic frenzy in Hercules making him kill all his offspring. To atone for his sins he visited the Oracle of Delphi who set him on the path of absolution through what became known as labors of Hercules, acts of heroism which freed the mortal world from many demonic pariahs.

The story of Hercules is not different from the tarots – the Fool is reminiscent of the birth and travails of Hercules. The fool also traverses the path of life learning lessons and atoning for his actions. He is also controlled by influences internal and those out of his control, that he has to wrestle to find internal balance. But that brings us back to the question what is real strength – is it unmatched physical prowess, or is the ability to control the people around you or yet again is it the fortitude with which you deal with the challenges life faces you? Is the purpose of the fool’s life to regain and reclaim his inner strength?

Life deals us many cards. We see glimpses of strength in many circumstances. When ceased by a vortex of cascading events that turn our life upside down and ceases all control from our hands, we are faced with choices. One path is always the easier one and the more beguiling, but the other seemingly less glamorous one requires true strength. Let me illustrate this to you with Rahul’s story.

Rahul graduated from one of the best schools in India with honors and landed himself a coveted admission into one of the top MBA schools of the country. The entire family rejoiced – he would be the first member of his family who would acquire a professional education and have a shot at rising up the proverbial corporate ladder. But as they say – life never stays the same. Destiny cut his flight to fame short. His father died leaving young siblings and a non working destitute mother. His uncles stepped forward to help him but his choices were cut short. With no money in the family without his father’s income the extended family pressed him to begin working. They were certain that if Kismet had it he would find his way to a professional education sooner than later.

Rahul decided to join the banking services and began training to become a probationary officer in the Indian banks. A far cry from his dream of corporate stardom! So has Rahul our Hercules in this story been defeated. So should he exhibit his strength by going into a frenzy, denouncing his uncles’ decision and hating his destitute family? Or yet again should he the newly appointed patriarch of his family become a tyrant and start displaying the megalomania that is so often seen in such protagonists? Would he then be deemed strong?

The tarots have their own speak in this situation. The Lover’s card talks about Hercules making choices sacred and profane and it is only the sacred choice that brings harmony to life in the long run. There has been many a Hercules like Rahul in real life – who have accepted their destiny and yet not given up the burning desire to be somebody in their own right. They may have had to give up their original choice of path to success but in the new chosen path they have gone on to excel and be deemed success stories.

What makes such Hercules different from the frenzied, controlling megalo maniac? The answer lies in the strength. The card strength depicts a struggle between a fierce lion and Hercules – a hand to hand mortal combat – in this struggle Hercules defeats the lion but wears the skin of the lion as a cloak that makes him invulnerable to external forces. A simple lesson – when faced with struggles in life – the highest battle is with forces within oneself, the strong forces of negative emotion like jealousy, anger, greed, frustration and the desire to assuage these through controlling others. Those that win this battle become the bearer of the lion’s skin and are protected from travails in the future. They learn to receive the hard messages of suffering and use them as guides to temper there own behavior with others.

Thus Hercules that wins is the Hercules that wins himself. He continues to hang on to his ambitions for excellence but gives up the attachment to only one chosen path to excellence. Thus Rahul will certainly have what he wants just perhaps not in the shape that he thinks he wants it.

This examination of strength with gentleness is dedicated to men, so let me pick up the story of another corporate being. Arun graduated from one of the leading MBA institutes in the country – had just the life that Rahul was so desperate to have. He joined an international consultancy and was soon in the inner circles of power in the firm. If corporate seniors were to be believed Arun will be the youngest partner in the whole of Asia Pacific. Certainly no mean feat, for someone from as humble a beginning as Arun.

As is always true – when you find appreciation and recognition – you begin to identify with that entity as your own. So also did Arun. The more his work was validated, the greater was the self fused with the organization. Along with the fusion came the corporate myth – a sense of power. He began to feel that as long as he was at work and in the environment he belonged in – he was powerful. He felt strong, and his life had a purpose. To negotiate difficult terms, balance complicated interpersonal relationships and influence the who’s who of the business world seemed to become the mantra of his life. Every time he was successful in achieving a business goal he felt a surge of strength as if life had infused him with a shot of adrenalin that would drive him to the next challenge with an even greater zest.

But the wheel of fortune continues to turn. What has been happening is up in the air at a moment and then plunges down to the bottom. The wheel of fortune teaches us that we are not completely in control. There is a destiny greater than us that will push us to make choices and land in situations we would not have imagined. Asked a spiritual guru the question – why? Can you explain the reason why my life is going that way? The answer will be clear – it’s your life throwing you an opportunity to learn, the lessons you need to learn to become a complete human being. So what then is this complete being and the annoying question that nags at the edge of my mind – why the hell do I have to be a complete being in the first place? Why do I have to learn these lessons – to achieve some esoteric, abstract and elusive goal like Nirvana or is there a direct take back for me before that? What if I choose not to be Buddha and want to continue my pursuits as the most average mortal, what then?

The tarots answer is very clear – before the goal of nirvana is an inherent goal in everything in life – balance. The heady flight to fame and success is more often than not accompanied by conflicts and intra organizational politics. Many a successful manager are cut short in their prime because the politics gets the better of them. I have been asked many time in my work with various corporate groups – so what then are you supposed to do? Dive into the organizational whirlpool and fight till the last breath gets knocked out of your sails or withdraw from the murky depths and live an isolated secluded life on your own island? Frankly there is no correct answer.

Several years ago I met an experienced HR professional, who related a very valuable tale to me. He said that a large part of senior management goes in Machiavellian manipulations like the magician who tries to outsmart one and all with his silver tongued magical maneuvers. There is a corporate myth that this swashbuckling, quicksilver character is the only corporate beast that survives organizations and makes it to the top – a direct contradiction of the strength in the gentle. He however believed that it is not the manipulations of the so called core management teams or “whatchamacallits” but the grapevine that the rest of the organization hears that makes or breaks a leader. It is the management stories and the professional reputation of the leader amongst the rest of the peoples that will decide whether he is a successful manager or not.

Therefore if Arun is to survive it is not just his immediate superiors and the inner sanctum sanctorum that must believe well of him but his subordinates and the younger people around him who must vouch for his sound decision making and honest ways. If his success is based on real mettle the grapevine will speak well of him and no matter what the conspiracy he will come out of it unscathed.

The tarots reflect this in their own way; the emperor and the hierophant are both partners in maintaining balance. While most of us are quick to embrace the emperor with his earthly power and control over the material world, as professionals we forget to balance this surge with the gentle self introspection of the hierophant. The tarots always advice that true power is one that knows its limits and does not rage over others in its attempts to conquer. On the contrary it includes the mildness of having understood who you are and in the act of accepting yourself extending the same love and compassion to others.

It is only through this balance will you be able to use the skills and abilities of others by accepting them as individuals in their own right. While we are quick to learn to be charismatic strong leaders we forget the basic management speak – “true leaders are those whose teams can survive and function as well without them”. We are so busy making ourselves indispensable that we forget that organizations grow through empowering others not hogging the power for yourself. It is a cycle, strong teams means positive and healthy grapevine and strong leaders. At the other end – a weak leader implies a weak team which will not weather the first onslaught.

It is now for Arun to introspect, before his dreams begin to sour – who he is. Is he going to chase strength alone or realize that true strength comes from being gentle and accepting of oneself and others, and that it takes courage to be that way?

The writing is on the wall – Arun is a person in his own right – his professional strengths will shape his destiny and he is bigger than any circumstance that faces him just as this is true for the other protagonist – Rahul.