the strong in the gentle...

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength."-- Ralph Sockman.

Hercules the symbol of strength in Greek Mythology was worshiped as the God who freed the mortals from many a monster. He was born of the digression of the God Zeus with a mortal Alcmena. Zeus placed his son Hercules at the breast of his sleeping wife Goddess Hera making him partially mortal. But so strong was Hera’s hatred towards Hercules that she induced a hypnotic frenzy in Hercules making him kill all his offspring. To atone for his sins he visited the Oracle of Delphi who set him on the path of absolution through what became known as labors of Hercules, acts of heroism which freed the mortal world from many demonic pariahs.

The story of Hercules is not different from the tarots – the Fool is reminiscent of the birth and travails of Hercules. The fool also traverses the path of life learning lessons and atoning for his actions. He is also controlled by influences internal and those out of his control, that he has to wrestle to find internal balance. But that brings us back to the question what is real strength – is it unmatched physical prowess, or is the ability to control the people around you or yet again is it the fortitude with which you deal with the challenges life faces you? Is the purpose of the fool’s life to regain and reclaim his inner strength?

Life deals us many cards. We see glimpses of strength in many circumstances. When ceased by a vortex of cascading events that turn our life upside down and ceases all control from our hands, we are faced with choices. One path is always the easier one and the more beguiling, but the other seemingly less glamorous one requires true strength. Let me illustrate this to you with Rahul’s story.

Rahul graduated from one of the best schools in India with honors and landed himself a coveted admission into one of the top MBA schools of the country. The entire family rejoiced – he would be the first member of his family who would acquire a professional education and have a shot at rising up the proverbial corporate ladder. But as they say – life never stays the same. Destiny cut his flight to fame short. His father died leaving young siblings and a non working destitute mother. His uncles stepped forward to help him but his choices were cut short. With no money in the family without his father’s income the extended family pressed him to begin working. They were certain that if Kismet had it he would find his way to a professional education sooner than later.

Rahul decided to join the banking services and began training to become a probationary officer in the Indian banks. A far cry from his dream of corporate stardom! So has Rahul our Hercules in this story been defeated. So should he exhibit his strength by going into a frenzy, denouncing his uncles’ decision and hating his destitute family? Or yet again should he the newly appointed patriarch of his family become a tyrant and start displaying the megalomania that is so often seen in such protagonists? Would he then be deemed strong?

The tarots have their own speak in this situation. The Lover’s card talks about Hercules making choices sacred and profane and it is only the sacred choice that brings harmony to life in the long run. There has been many a Hercules like Rahul in real life – who have accepted their destiny and yet not given up the burning desire to be somebody in their own right. They may have had to give up their original choice of path to success but in the new chosen path they have gone on to excel and be deemed success stories.

What makes such Hercules different from the frenzied, controlling megalo maniac? The answer lies in the strength. The card strength depicts a struggle between a fierce lion and Hercules – a hand to hand mortal combat – in this struggle Hercules defeats the lion but wears the skin of the lion as a cloak that makes him invulnerable to external forces. A simple lesson – when faced with struggles in life – the highest battle is with forces within oneself, the strong forces of negative emotion like jealousy, anger, greed, frustration and the desire to assuage these through controlling others. Those that win this battle become the bearer of the lion’s skin and are protected from travails in the future. They learn to receive the hard messages of suffering and use them as guides to temper there own behavior with others.

Thus Hercules that wins is the Hercules that wins himself. He continues to hang on to his ambitions for excellence but gives up the attachment to only one chosen path to excellence. Thus Rahul will certainly have what he wants just perhaps not in the shape that he thinks he wants it.

This examination of strength with gentleness is dedicated to men, so let me pick up the story of another corporate being. Arun graduated from one of the leading MBA institutes in the country – had just the life that Rahul was so desperate to have. He joined an international consultancy and was soon in the inner circles of power in the firm. If corporate seniors were to be believed Arun will be the youngest partner in the whole of Asia Pacific. Certainly no mean feat, for someone from as humble a beginning as Arun.

As is always true – when you find appreciation and recognition – you begin to identify with that entity as your own. So also did Arun. The more his work was validated, the greater was the self fused with the organization. Along with the fusion came the corporate myth – a sense of power. He began to feel that as long as he was at work and in the environment he belonged in – he was powerful. He felt strong, and his life had a purpose. To negotiate difficult terms, balance complicated interpersonal relationships and influence the who’s who of the business world seemed to become the mantra of his life. Every time he was successful in achieving a business goal he felt a surge of strength as if life had infused him with a shot of adrenalin that would drive him to the next challenge with an even greater zest.

But the wheel of fortune continues to turn. What has been happening is up in the air at a moment and then plunges down to the bottom. The wheel of fortune teaches us that we are not completely in control. There is a destiny greater than us that will push us to make choices and land in situations we would not have imagined. Asked a spiritual guru the question – why? Can you explain the reason why my life is going that way? The answer will be clear – it’s your life throwing you an opportunity to learn, the lessons you need to learn to become a complete human being. So what then is this complete being and the annoying question that nags at the edge of my mind – why the hell do I have to be a complete being in the first place? Why do I have to learn these lessons – to achieve some esoteric, abstract and elusive goal like Nirvana or is there a direct take back for me before that? What if I choose not to be Buddha and want to continue my pursuits as the most average mortal, what then?

The tarots answer is very clear – before the goal of nirvana is an inherent goal in everything in life – balance. The heady flight to fame and success is more often than not accompanied by conflicts and intra organizational politics. Many a successful manager are cut short in their prime because the politics gets the better of them. I have been asked many time in my work with various corporate groups – so what then are you supposed to do? Dive into the organizational whirlpool and fight till the last breath gets knocked out of your sails or withdraw from the murky depths and live an isolated secluded life on your own island? Frankly there is no correct answer.

Several years ago I met an experienced HR professional, who related a very valuable tale to me. He said that a large part of senior management goes in Machiavellian manipulations like the magician who tries to outsmart one and all with his silver tongued magical maneuvers. There is a corporate myth that this swashbuckling, quicksilver character is the only corporate beast that survives organizations and makes it to the top – a direct contradiction of the strength in the gentle. He however believed that it is not the manipulations of the so called core management teams or “whatchamacallits” but the grapevine that the rest of the organization hears that makes or breaks a leader. It is the management stories and the professional reputation of the leader amongst the rest of the peoples that will decide whether he is a successful manager or not.

Therefore if Arun is to survive it is not just his immediate superiors and the inner sanctum sanctorum that must believe well of him but his subordinates and the younger people around him who must vouch for his sound decision making and honest ways. If his success is based on real mettle the grapevine will speak well of him and no matter what the conspiracy he will come out of it unscathed.

The tarots reflect this in their own way; the emperor and the hierophant are both partners in maintaining balance. While most of us are quick to embrace the emperor with his earthly power and control over the material world, as professionals we forget to balance this surge with the gentle self introspection of the hierophant. The tarots always advice that true power is one that knows its limits and does not rage over others in its attempts to conquer. On the contrary it includes the mildness of having understood who you are and in the act of accepting yourself extending the same love and compassion to others.

It is only through this balance will you be able to use the skills and abilities of others by accepting them as individuals in their own right. While we are quick to learn to be charismatic strong leaders we forget the basic management speak – “true leaders are those whose teams can survive and function as well without them”. We are so busy making ourselves indispensable that we forget that organizations grow through empowering others not hogging the power for yourself. It is a cycle, strong teams means positive and healthy grapevine and strong leaders. At the other end – a weak leader implies a weak team which will not weather the first onslaught.

It is now for Arun to introspect, before his dreams begin to sour – who he is. Is he going to chase strength alone or realize that true strength comes from being gentle and accepting of oneself and others, and that it takes courage to be that way?

The writing is on the wall – Arun is a person in his own right – his professional strengths will shape his destiny and he is bigger than any circumstance that faces him just as this is true for the other protagonist – Rahul.

joi de vivre

The tarots version of true joi de vivre is the Fool Card, or the jester who begins his life with the freshness and joy of youth. It is the only card which unencumbered by contrary experiences and realizations takes a leap of faith into the future driven by the joy of just being. Isn’t that the joy that is so precious to us that we chase it in anti ageing pots and creams, spas and rejuvenation therapies, cleansing mentally and soul-ly; all in the attempt to hang on to that freshness of youth. Simply described the ability to enjoy life to its fullest and with the gusto of youth!

“Sound of vernal showers
On the twinkling grass,
Rain-awakened flowers -
All that ever was
Joyous and clear and fresh – Thy music doth surpass.”


What is it about the Fool that we are unable to let go? And is it necessary for us to let it go?

Recently I met with some old friends at a getaway and it seemed that all of us walked away charged with the desire to meet again and bask in the carefree bonds again. I asked my self what did this event do for us. After much contemplation the answer became clear – it made us feel good about who we are, not just a throwback memory of the past but a real boost to self esteem as who we have turned out to be. We walked away reaffirming the choices we have made for ourselves and more than the affirmations and appreciation we may have received from others we allowed ourselves to be the recipient of approval from our own selves. The non judgmental quality of the fool – unencumbered by negativity and critical comment the fool is able to trust that life will turn out well for him even if he does not know what life holds for him. He is able to do this because he has not received dents to his self esteem which have the power to turn us into our own worst critics.

I have experienced the same joi the vivre in another memorable situation. Some years ago I worked in a small consultancy with an intimate little team of young people who worked tough long hours together. I was their supervisor and loved every moment of coaching and teaching them. Though my job was to teach them how to create content I ended up being a counselor, friend, mentor and an equal participant in the travails of their life. This bright bunch of young people taught me an important lesson about myself. While I have always been known to be an outspoken and confident person, but this was only skin deep. My inner voice was that of a square, logical and sensible woman who could not accept the gentler side to herself. They taught me that while I may cherish the outspoken self it was in fact harder for a person like me to allow a certain mildness and vagueness to creep into my interactions. This self same crazed chase for sharply defined experiences prevented me from truly letting myself go and accepting the softer person within me.

A lesson so simply taught by youth, who themselves were impatient to acquire the layers of experience so that it would shroud them with a certain gravitas, that would make it easier to influence others. Such is the paradox of life – you only look back at an experience and realize that you missed that moment for what it offered.

“We look before and after,
And pine for what is not:
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.

Yet, if we could scorn
Hate and pride and fear,
If we were things born
Not to shed a tear,
I know not how thy joy we ever should come near.”

To my mind people come to get tarot readings to revive their hope for a better clime, not to visit the prophet of doom. The karmic cycle also points to rebuilding and rebirthing your own self until you achieve oneness with the universe. A rather esoteric & fluffy concept but in real terms quite simple! A friend going through a hard time once said – “ I think I am ill fated – these things always happen to me” Yet another said “Why is it that my relationships always fail and I end up feeling betrayed”. A small sample of the numerous ugly messages we send ourselves in post mortem. Our opinion of ourselves changes. We accumulate layers of critical judgmental thoughts around ourselves. SO is there any reprieve?

Sure, there always is. We carry within ourselves an inner child that helps us experience excitement and joy to its fullest. The inner child is an all knowledgeable, wise little creature who despite having learnt difficult lessons in life retains the ability to revive hope, hence he is our biggest resource in coping with tough times.

This is beautifully depicted in the tarots, by the card Sun. The weather beaten, broken fool through its journey of life arrives at a juncture where he walks the last milestone with a golden happy child. Through him he learns to experience the simple joys of playing in the sun and soaking up the warmth of the surroundings. Through the song and dance he learns to look at himself anew and appreciate himself for who he has become; finally he asks the child – “Who are you?” The child shines brighter and answers, “The new YOU.” Tough times reshape our perspectives and hence reactions to things, the SUN sends us a message – of course expect to be changed but also learn to love it. Only when we love the new us will the inner child be happy and allow us to regain the joi de vivre which may have otherwise dimmed.

So the Sun says to my friend – No you are not ill fated – you haven’t learnt to appreciate the strength within you and nor are you a failure in relationships. Another perspective – you know how to extricate yourself from a bad situation – your sense of self preservation prevents you from continuing in terrible self abusive interactions. An infinitely more loving way to adjudge yourself.

"With thy clear keen joyance
Languor cannot be:
Shadow of annoyance
Never came near thee:
Thou lovest, but ne'er knew love's sad satiety."

Magus the magician has always appeared in my readings for people as a warning. A master manipulator is what I love to call him. He is a charismatic personality with a gift of the gab and the ability to spin yarns around you. So charming are the fantasies that despite yourself you are ensnared for posterity, and enslaved to a person whose motives are more often than not self serving. But is that the only side to the Magus?

Merlin the Magician, born of a human woman and a wellspring called Incubus, possessed supernatural powers. While he was responsible for sorcery he also engineered the birth of King Arthur through magic & intrigue. He became a trusted friend and advisor to King Arthur until possessed by the Lady of the Lake. His story tells us to believe in magic and miracles. Also to believe that there are vast wells of unexplored potential within us we aren’t aware of. Therefore the power to achieve whatever your heart desires also lies within us. This theory has been popularized by many books like The Secret and Creative Visualization but it is the ability to dream that allows us the opportunity to achieve. An important truth told by the Magician.

I have met the Magus and those posing as the Magus. Remember a true Magician does not lie and conceal himself behind deceit – he has the courage to follow his fantasies without extending promises he cannot deliver. Contrary to our pre-conceptions a real Magician is not necessarily the fiery warrior charging on a steed; no he leaves that for the Knights and himself is stoic, and calm and tranquil like the wise man in the moon. Within his sobriety he holds the magic that created the world and the Universe is his to ask from.

True joi de vivre comes from letting go, allowing yourself to dream, fantastic dreams and believing that the ability to achieve them lies within you.

“Teach me half the gladness
That thy brain must know;
Such harmonious madness
From my lips would flow,
The world should listen then, as I am listening now.”

The verses are from the poem – Ode to a Skylark – Percy B. Shelley

love, love and love

Last night a young person asked me – how do you know what to look for? Is there any card in the tarots that indicates or defines that this is the love I have been looking for? Well, the answer lies in the fact that different people experience love differently. In my experience people have described their feeling of love in their own way and the tarots have a danced to the symphony they created. SO instead of holding forth on the subject and giving my opinion I think I will let the tarots and the speakers speak for themselves. These are all excerpts from books and my own jottings on my experiences.

Here’s how a woman describes her experience: “Lets put the boot on your foot - if you knew that I might die in the next 6 months and you loved me. Would you marry me and have my baby - despite being destitute and not certain which way your life would go - just to hang on to that perfect moment of love? Do you know what it feels like to have a baby that is a part of someone who completes all that you want from life? In another life that is something I would want with you. SO I am issuing it as a prayer for my soul to remember!”

In her reading we found the devil and the hanged man with the 4 of cups. The Devil, for a slightly obsessive and passionate kind of love that preys on her own emotions driving her to experience intensity that may otherwise not be possible to feel; and the hanged man to allow herself to understand a new reality. They see when we have nothing left to lose our soul is freed from the shackles of ‘what if, but & why’ and life is visible in a perspective otherwise concealed. They say the experience of birth is much the same – the woman for the first time realizes that life depends on her and that she is nothing but a pawn in the hands of nature, with very little control on what’s to be. In this loss she discovers her true potential and a new ability to take on the travails of life. So in her own words her subconscious clearly indicates to her the message that the tarots parody. She needs a new perspective on the obsessive love she feels. Why does she want to be so conjoined with her love, is this really good for her? The 4 cups brings home the indication – a forced disengagement and a little distance will allow her to introspect – the reasons for such a need.

In another story a man and a woman were in a relationship which brought out the worst in them. Cantankerous, difficult, nasty and plain passionate... The relationship continued for several years until realizing the futility of it all, the woman decided to end it and get married. Ironically there relationship is exposed. A reasonably mundane occurrence but what fascinated me were a couple of statements - He says to the woman: “At least I was faithful for 12 years to my wife before I met you but you are claiming to be in love with the man you are about to marry while you are still with me.” Then again he says, after she is married: “I didn't tell you that I broke up with my wife because you are married now.” What fascinated me was the difference in which he viewed honesty to himself? All the years that she wanted more, he had nothing to offer and then just when she gets married and voila! His life changes and he explains his own decisions with this odd concept of respect for a marriage - so different from the way a woman feels.

In his cards we saw justice and the hanged man. Justice is the one card completely governed by logic and the balancing of the just and fair against what is undeserved. So when justice appears it mean you will get your just desserts – so as you sow so shall you reap. In his case – he balanced the good and the evil in himself and his girlfriend and explained that he had only strayed from his marriage after having accepted that he had done his best and could not make the relationship work, whilst the girl was being unfair to her fiancée by being involved with another man while pledging marriage. Similarly he weighs himself as the wrong doer and allows himself to be punished by not disclosing to his erstwhile girlfriend his singular status and bears his separation in isolation. However the hanged man points him to a new perspective having lost all that he held dear and indicates that he needs to cast away his earlier veneer and feel love and compassion for himself. In other words mitigate the harsh sword of justice. Interesting isn't it? It amazed me. Of course they broke out of their relationships and were happy ever after.

Some interesting thoughts? What say?

The star in the tarot signifies a pure hopeful love, the fool on its journey after having lost all, finds himself drinking from a maiden’s urn, water filled with starlight signifying the birth of hope and the return of love to your life. It also reminds the soul that there is no one soulmate – the message of love is hopeful – even if you lose you will find love again in a newer form. In your reading if accompanied with any of the cards from the minor arcana like the nine of cups (signifying wishes fulfilled) or the knight of cups (tentative steps towards romance) it means allow your heart to sing with joy and embrace the feeling of love. Consider yourself truly blessed if you find the two of cups – you are in a relationship of equals – where your other half completes your being. Your partner will support you, cherish your inner self and allow you to grow.

As a friend once spoke about her love “The one thing that truly lifted my spirits today - you know that you have found perfect love when your heart sings every time you hear their voice, when you feel everything is all right with the world, when you are with them and when you know you are complete in that moment you have with them. Then there truly is nothing more you want from life (if you die then it does not matter). The rest is a relationship negotiating it - maintaining it and investing in it.” Sounds very idealistic and perhaps transient but a moment in love worth hanging on to?

I want to end this reprieve with the world – the ultimate card for love. The world… This card perhaps the most powerful of all has several meanings but it also signifies the end of the journey for love. When the world appears in your search for love – you have found nirvana and completed successfully the goal you set out for. You are in the presence of perfection, wholeness, satisfaction and happiness. But you surprise yourself by finding that you have finally reached where you began – learning to trust and let go. In other words a love we all strive for but seldom achieve. Unconditional love - a mythical concept, only felt by a mother for her new-born child and love for god in a search for the spiritual self.

However, in the adult form experienced transiently with a perfect someone. In a discussion over dinner someone explained how they felt “I wanted to tell you that even when I have fought with you bitterly and am feeling hurt to my deepest core - I know I can feel that pure joy only with you. Remember I told you that I like the poem Ode to a skylark - I think that joy is what I am talking about that sets your spirits free. So you are free to behave as you wish that feeling is mine to hold and cherish and even you can't take it away from me. I think this is the strength of my vulnerability - knowing unerringly that even I have no control over this. It gives me the strength to speak the truth.”

Maybe that is why all the so called spiritual gurus were found in pairs!

the sacred and the profane

These words ring in my years every time I look at the Lovers’ card. Life is about choices isn’t it – that is the very reason why this particular card, which marks the souls journey into adulthood, teaches us to make choices and live with the consequences of those choice. Men and women alike are faced with this choice at some juncture in their lives.

The Lovers card is shown with Adam and Eve looking up at an angel – Raphael signifying, mercury and air, the basic element of Gemini. It means something mercurial and transforming is in the air – and what is constant is going to be altered. That is exactly the effect love has on us – the proverbial ‘rose tinted spectacles’ being one. Those governed by logic and science, report love as a chemical reaction, one that alters the blood chemistry and results in a feeling of euphoria. The reality lies somewhere in between and definitely dulls human ability to make rational decisions, such is the power of the Lovers card.

Does that mean that all decisions taken in love are profane? Is there a right or a wrong kind of love? Is it just society that decides this?

Over the years I have found that a large number of people who come to me are looking for a soulmate. Whether it is the young or the old the search for a soulmate is a never ending, awe inspiring one. Someone who completes your sentences, reads your thoughts even before you have crystallized them and accepts you as you are with no questions asked, epitomizes the dream lover or the soulmate. The desire for such a heavenly being overrides all other needs and requirements. Young and the old have asked the same question “Tell me is there a special someone in my life who I will meet?” My belief yes there is… not a special someone but several such special someone’s.

So then was nature’s way of making the primitive man polygamous the most natural one? This is where the Lover’s card in the tarot steps in. In one of my readings with a friend the person reported she had finally met the man of her dreams, a little too late because she was already married and had a family she did not want to leave. However, she was unwilling to let go off this new relationship that life had offered her. The new interaction provided her with a sense of completion she had not experienced before. She felt that she could handle and balance the two parts to herself. The cards that came in her spread were the Lovers and the two of swords, a stalemate. Did that mean that she would be able to maintain the balance she so desired?

There can always be many interpretations. The one that seemed to make sense was, the 2 of swords signifies a balance as long as you hold still, you remain blindfolded oblivious to the outer world because any sudden reactions can upset the balance and cause the swords to tip over. Could she hold on to the moment and maintain status quo? A big question, because love by its nature is volatile. If the new love is all satisfying and complete, her reality will appear faded in comparison to the suffused color of the new relationship pushing her to make a choice leaving status quo. Something in the circumstances would definitely alter to accommodate the new reality – unbalancing the swords.

So then would you advice her to give up the new relationship and adjudge it profane? You will find the answer in the Lover’s card. The spiritual meaning of the Lover’s card means that a man and a woman are two complimentary sources of energy, the yin and the yang. The soul on its earthly journey to the universe needs to understand this balance to communicate with its spiritual self. Only then will it be able to move on in the cycle of life and embrace higher lessons. In simple words to have a meaningful and fulfilling relationship you first need to have a relationship with yourself, i.e., accept yourself with your strengths and your failings.

We often look for what is missing within us in a relationship outside, in the hope that the other person will help us get in touch with that lost part and allay our fears while we are feeling lost. The Lovers teaches us just that lesson. To have a successful relationship first be whole – work at claiming all your missing parts for yourself. Once that is done the choice will be clear… the relationship that allows you to spread your wings, realize your full potential and lets you make your journey in your own chosen way is the one to depend one and is sacred to you. On the other hand, the one which is wrought with insecurity, fear and anxiety is the profane.

The tarots did not give my friend a yes or no answer but did give her enough to reflect on. What did SHE want? What in her current life made her happy – what was necessary for her to feel confident about herself? Was this new relationship just her search for herself? Was her marital relationship stifling and did not allow her to be herself? Which choices could she live with? Questions only she could answer – but answers that were imperative to find, as only then could she find the real balance in her life which is not a stalemate.

I have known of many choices. Some leave earlier relationships to find new ones, others stay despite a sense of unhappiness, some choose to stay single and have several relationships. yet others have dalliances on the side to distract from the unhappiness of the present… the tarot’s do not deem any choice to be profane. Only what is not good for your soul is profane and what you can find contentment and peace with is sacred. Souls singular goal is to seek freedom from obsessions and discontentment.

So does this question face only the poor married souls who have to make this choice? Is life just cut out for the singles? NO. The same question presents itself to them as well, albeit in a different form - “What kind of a person am I looking for?” Why am I not able to find the perfect person for me? Once again – the Lover’s provides the answer. First find what you miss in yourself and then embark on that journey to find love. A little bit of love for your own self can go a long way in finding love outside.

The Lover’s card also leaves you with something to reflect on – Is it imperative to be loved? Is it possible to be without love? Is it possible to be complete in your own self without this demonic search for a soulmate?

our earthly mother, the empress

Our generation grew up singing songs like “mother of mine, you gave to me…” , a song sung in eulogy of the mothers in our lives, ensuring that the power distance between us and them remained so. Today many of us as mothers are striving to be ‘friends’ with our children a euphemism to ensure that they keep talking to us. A very scathing opinion given by one of my lady friends who came for a reading. To cut a long story short she came to examine the difficult relationship she and her daughter shared. The daughter as all teenagers do felt her privacy threatened by her overbearing mother and the mother was battling with her insecurities regarding safety, moral character and future prospects of her progeny.

The empress in their reading came as a sign of need for self nurturing – contrary to popular beliefs the empress in my readings almost always signifies a need to nurture your own self (not others), to rejuvenate your spirits, tap into your creative side and extend love and understanding that you would as a mother to your anxious child to yourself. This powerful card is timeless and sends us a clear message – ‘the mother daughter relationship can only be successful if both parties feel nurtured, understood and accepted’. In other words if you want to heal a relationship which has gone rocky, first and foremost, accept your own weakness and forgive yourself. Only in extending compassion to your own self can you be kind to others.

The empress, the bearer of a harvest and creative abundance, teaches us to embrace all that is productive within us.

In my early years as a tarot reader a young person asked me about when they would get married and whether they would at all. Every which way the cards said one and the same thing… marriage seemed a definite yes – the earthly mother has appeared signifying the reign of fertility along with a relationship in the person’s near future. A few months later she came back to me and stated that contrary to what we had discussed she was really far from marriage in fact she had broken off with an already married man and ended up handling an unwanted pregnancy. I was aghast _ I obviously had overlooked the card for its meaning – Fertility. In fact the Tarots tell a very simple story – so what can seemingly appear as marriage just because I read the empress as marriage, since the enquirer asked about marriage, can actually mean motherhood and fertility.

An important lesson – allow yourself to listen to the messages from the cards without getting influenced by what the seeker wants. You will be able to hear the cards loud and clear if you focus on the person rather than what he/she speaks, asks and wishes. Think about the person and submit to the complete belief that what you will hear will be true.

The empress has always been extremely fascinating for me – maybe because my own rocky relationship with my mother had a huge impact on the way I think and negotiate relationships. In fact the rockier the relationship the harder it is to separate your mother’s voice in your head from your own. I have found that when you do grow up you become a harsher critic of your own actions than your mother ever was. Therefore, despite all the work I have done to change the way I think, I have finally found solace in the fact that you cannot change the fact that you love your mother, their opinion does matter but at the same time you can choose to forgive yourself if your actions do not always match up to her expectations.

the why and the wow of the tarots

I was talking to my nieces today about starting this blog and the first question they asked, as all young people do, was 'Why?' followed by the next most favorite 'Wow'. If you really think about it that almost completely sums up my need for this. The eternal and unending 'whys' that face the 40+ gang like mine and the wide eyed delightful 'wows' that surround every new experience of the younger people.

I believe most brilliant things in life are simple - therefore I believe that everyone can read the tarots and there really is no complex science to it. So my goal is also simple - to help people learn what I know about tarots and an insidious objective of helping people find what they are looking for.

I began reading tarots at 24 and today at 42 I am still a learner as I think I always will be. In all these years I have believed that in sharing with others you will get some answers to the Whys and experience some of the Wows. When one is younger everything is beautiful and wondrous - every experience opens your mind to the gazillion possibilities that exist in any situation. I think as a Tarot reader you have to continue to remain in touch with that wonder and experience it every single time you see something new in the cards. The newness may come from remembering a new meaning to any card or it may come from the reaction of the person you are reading for. I think the simplest way to lose it is to become so blasé that you assume you know what the other person is experiencing. A little like if the love of my life leaves me I may be furiously angry and contemplate violence whereas someone else in the same circumstance may actually feel heartbroken, saddened and hopeless, a completely different reaction to the same situation.

I have found that most people go to astrologers, palmists and tarot readers to find an answer to various types of whys. Even those like me who choose to become tarot readers are seeking an answer to our whys, but perhaps want a little more control over getting those answers. The truth is there is no absolute answer - each card has at least 2-3 shades or meanings and the permutations and combinations of the flanking cards can create unending possibilities.

Any card has several dimensions - a feeling quotient, a sense of time, an unfolding of an event and a direction/path/guidance attached to it.

Let's take the five of pentacles - a visual image of the poor freezing outside the church - a distinct sense of getting lost but at the same time a sense of the wanderer. I typically associate it with a feeling of lacking a sense of belonging to any place/person but as an event unfolding it also means that despite the fact that your home is staring you in the face you are not able to make a connect with it. This card has appeared in my reading when someone is in a rocky relationship, when they have just started a new project/job and they have not as yet found their groove, just before an impending important exam or when you have just got married and are yet adjusting to your new home. I believe that if it comes in your own spread the cards are telling you to look for answers within you as it is highly likely that the answers to the "why" you are looking for are probably staring you in the face and cannot be seen because of the overriding anxiety you experience at that moment. So to gain objectivity, ask your closest friend to state the obvious and you will have your answer pat. Once again the five of pentacles is a fleeting card and will last only as long as you allow it to.

I think I am writing this today because I had the opportunity to be touched by the enthusiasm and joy of youth and it left me wondering that why life is such a paradox. The wonder (wow) that you need to be a tarot reader is best within your grasp when you are young but strangely enough you are only able to let yourself hear the answers to whys when experience teaches you to stop judging yourself. So if you aspire to be a tarot reader the 2nd lesson is learn to forgive yourself...

you know your own future

I have been reading tarots now for 15 years with improving confidence. People say I am good - I guess that means I can foretell the future accurately. Still every time one of my friends reports such "bang-on" accuracy I only feel incredulous and of course wonderous. Incredulous because it is not me, in fact it has little to do with me - I truly just am the telephone that helps them hear - and frankly they believe they need the telephone when actually they are only hearing themselves. I think I will always be wondrous of the way all this works - that yet again I heard the truth and chose to believe in it.

Tarots are such a passion today but over the years I have learnt that all it takes is belief - the unshakable and absolute belief that what I am seeing/experiencing is true. Once an aunt asked me when will I be able to tell the future - and I remember telling her that you can already, you just don't let yourself - you are afraid to let go. If you allow the disquiet of doubt, uncertainty and anxiety to silence itself you will have your answers loud and clear...

So here's to all the tarot reading aspirants - before you learn the meanings of cards and the spreads, focus on learning to believe - believe your own self.